super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
