I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
