if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
