I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
