Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
