My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
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