This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
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