You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
