end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
