He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
