I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
