He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
