Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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