if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you would pick up someone in the library
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dicks are not precious.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
