You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize