Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
