i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
