told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
two words: eviction party
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
