I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I need to stop coming to work sober
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Send help, water and tortillas.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
