Is it because I queefed?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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