You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
