yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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