Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize