I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
