kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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