piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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