I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
