Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Randomize
