bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
