More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
