Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
