This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
