Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
