were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
