His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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