I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
