oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
