No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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