Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize