so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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