And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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