I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
where are my pants?
in the oven.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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