Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize