don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
