Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
