my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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