You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
