Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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