Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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