Where are you?
In a non slutty way
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize