Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
