i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
