unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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