We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
