The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
