there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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